Dangerous/Painful Potato Turnip Croquettes

Adapted from a recipe for potato-turnip latkes which was much less of a pain in the ass and just about as tasty. When I made the latkes, the fat was not quite hot enough so they had a tendency to sog.

I had an amazing croquette experience at Tacubaya, so I thought I'd try to turn the delicious duck-fatty latkes into light fluffy duck-fatty croquettes for the perfect marriage of texture and flavor. The result: the world's best tater tots, with an incredibly light, moist, delicate filling and fantastic crispy crust. Unexpected results: an entire house filled with thick, fatty smoke; half of a kitchen spattered in greasy spots; multiple burns on self. I do not recommend making this at the same time as the Amazing Granola, which I did last night to my painful and burnt dismay.

If you've never cooked with duck fat before: what the hell are you waiting for?

Dangerous/Painful Potato Turnip Croquettes

4 medium russet potatoes
2 medium/small turnips
a few green or spring onions
Panko japanese breadcrumbs (the kind for tempura)
1/2 cup heavy cream
salt & pepper to taste
~1 cup duck fat (maybe a little more)

Quarter the potatoes and turnips and boil them until ready to mash. Drain well and mash 'em up in a big bowl with the chopped green onions, salt & pepper. Mix in the cream, being careful not to get the mixture too wet (My mistake #1).

Fill a shallow bowl with bread crumbs, and start spooning onto them small balls of potato/turnip mix -- I used the same 2-spoon technique that a lot of people use for drop cookies. Don't try to handle the croquettes too much in the breadcrumbs (my mistake #2), but try to coat them evenly. I ended up tossing the balls between both hands with the crumbs, which worked well but didn't squish the croquettes into useless paste as much as my first efforts.

Get your duck fat pretty damn hot - med. high heat until shimmery. If the fat isn't hot enough, the croquettes will be oily and soggy without a good crust. Fry the croquettes on as many sides as possible for maximum crisp, about 2-3 minutes per side if the oil is hot enough. Drain on a paper towel and serve hot with creme fraiche.

One problem with using Panko breadcrumbs .. or perhaps breadcrumbs in general .. is that some of them will undoubtedly flake off into the fat, where they burn to tiny tiny crisps. After about 15 minutes of boiling, smooshing and frying, while juggling my granola project at the same time, I turned around to see that the entire house was filled with noxious grey smoke. The dog was standing in the kitchen doorway with his feet apart, giving me a what-the-hell-are-you-doing look. By the time I was done, I collected a tiny mountain of the black crisps on one side of the pan. My hands, face and front were covered in tiny burns and my eyes and lungs stung from the smoke. Perhaps the whole experience wouldn't have been as overwhelming without the simul-baking of the granola (my mistake #3).

Amazing Granola

This is adapted from the recipe in the cheese board's collective works for their "killer granola." The main difference is the absence of coconut and presence of many, many nuts and seeds in my version.

This is insanely easy to make. As someone who loves granola but is very picky about what should be in it, I love making my own and having it just my way. It keeps well in an airtight container, is cheap to make and easy to gift.

Measurements are approximate. Preheat oven to 325.

2 tbs butter
salt to taste
2 cups total chopped nuts: pecans, walnuts, almonds (or your favorites)
2 tsp honey
1/4 c. sugar of choice
dash of vanilla extract
1 and 1/4 c. old-fashioned rolled oats
1/2 c. sunflower seeds
1/4 c. sesame seeds
1/4 c. flax seeds

In a pan, melt the butter over pretty low heat. Add the salt and your nuts, stirring well to evenly coat them all, and bring the heat up just a bit. Toast the nuts until they are golden and beautiful, but keep a careful eye on them because they can burn quickly if your heat gets out of control. I burnt my first batch but it still tasted great. When the nuts are ready, add the honey and sugar and bring the heat back down to low until the sweeteners are melted and gooey. Kill the heat and add the vanilla.

Combine the oats and seeds in a big bowl, add the nut mixture and mix it all up like woah. Spread the mix evenly over a baking sheet lined with parchment paper (I *love* parchment paper) and bake for 15 minutes. Stir it around and redistribute at that point, and bake for another 10-15 minutes until it's all golden toasty. Let it cool completely on the hot pan, since it will continue to toast from the residual heat.

The nutty bits are the best part of this, so you can try to mix them in as much as possible (so that all of it becomes the best part of it), or you could deliberately leave big nut clusters. You could add raisins or coconut flakes, but I don't like either of these things in granola -- raisins get too chewy after baking and coconut is weird. I bet dried fruit could be mixed in after it cools (or while cooling perhaps?) if you just have to have fruit.